Finding solace in the most tragic way.

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The force was immediate, of short duration and infrequent making it sudden for her to make a move or react. She sat there staring at him with her big eyes whereas the offender gave her a cunning smile while he visited her bedroom unaware of the thoughts that lingered in her mind. The sight of those actions that followed, haunted her almost every minute, everyday. Little did she know, it was the beginning of an undesired relationship that was going to be a turning point in her life. That beginning would snatch from her every reason to feel free at the end. His every touch would pierce invisible arrows straight in her heart. She would want to speak but something inside her would keep her quiet for it would be meant to ruin her life in the worst way it could do. 

Her only mistake was that she fell for a guy who was outside her caste. She knew that they could give each other nothing more than an unconditional love with all the flame present inside their hearts. This put her parents in great distress. For a couple of days, they tried to convince her to get over him and that they would get her a better choice. Her heart revolted at this moment as she thought how could one undo and redo her feelings in a practical manner. As a result to these series of arguments she boycotted being around anything that went against her emotions and became as stubborn as possible. All this with a reliance that they would bend in front of her only uncompromising situation. But then her parents realised that she wasn't going to listen no matter how much they tried. They pushed her into a room not allowing her to exercise her freedom and within a few days they decided to marry her off. This was the easiest way according to them that would serve their purpose and facilitate in settling things. No carefully chosen words could help her explain the chaos that continued to occupy a huge space in her mind. She wasn't prepared to consent with their decision even if she tried to. Considering it an approval to the last activity of the chain of their endless hopes, she would've still suffered. Perhaps, if she could use the art of forgetting a person & started moving on which she did not know. No matter how far their orders are improper or unbecoming? No matter how far they are unjustified or unseemly? A part of her saw her following isolated world.

Just because she looked forward to choose her life partner according to her wish and not theirs, she was mistreated. Just because there was not even a single person who could feel right for her, she was mistreated. Just because she couldn't pause her feelings for the one she loved more than anything else and play them for another guy, she was mistreated. Just because she did not have enough courage to spoil three lives in one go, she was mistreated. She felt trapped in a forced relationship with a stranger in the name of a husband. Every act of violation by him went unpunished. Although sensing her discomfort, he did not make an effort to find out the reason. She wanted to protest, but couldn't make a great deal of it. Every now and then, she noticed something "that occurs between two people who scarcely know each other". Her willingness to welcome it or not was taken for granted by everybody including her husband who urged of a sexual relationship a lot more than she could manage to think. Her anxiousness reached the top of its level whenever her husband tried putting his arm around her or made an attempt to touch her. She resisted every time that similar movement took place and felt an unreasonable pang of irritation against his touch. She had to propagate the human race and bury her uneasiness even if she felt like screaming or crying out loud for an hour. She could sense the alienation in this forced and destroyed marriage but she had to possibly live with this regret for the rest of her life now. Every fling that she made to keep a distance with her circumstantial husband in whose company she felt lonely, was evident. It frightened her to think about the intrusion in her privacy for which she was just not ready. She blamed him for her present situation in which she found herself to be a slave blindly tied to act according to the wishes of her master without a voice of protest. Solemny because no one ever cared to break the stereotypes, the tradition of an inter caste marriage never prevailed. She was just another woman who struggled in breaking free of the predefined norms.

My main idea here is to address that section of women in the society who're deprived of such values and abused on various irrelevant grounds. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and in her case the reaction created a turmoil in her life. Her parents might have seen almost everything in their entire life which undoubtedly makes them capable of making a better decision than her. But this does not make them sure of this unproven fact that she as a child oughtn't have the ability to analyse and differentiate between a right and a wrong decision. Don't you believe they should've atleast given her a chance to make a stand. Afterall, marriage is the most delicate decision of one's life and one wrong turn can destroy everything that follows behind that. Our inexperience does not give them this right to believe that all our decisions would disintegrate against us. I don't mean to say that parents should openly let the bad happen and not at all care to try controlling it at all but showing their child the ideal direction instead of focussing on making their children feel ashamed of their false decisions at that point is just not right.


- Mahima Ahuja

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