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Confessions of a lass

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khyati by  
khyati

While the time is running at a breakneck pace, the crowd moving ahead with the fourth dimension of space;

I find myself tiny and trivial in comparison to the fierce and competitive folks!

I grew up believing in the powers of the stupendous grades and that only big numbers filled on your mark sheet set you apart. It certifies you as intelligent and smart. The tête-à-tête people used to indulge in always attracted me since childhood. Eavesdropping the gossip and sending out the shockwaves of futile rumors sounded extremely exciting. I used to wonder how interesting it would be to talk about the different people, the hot stuff taking place in their lives, the spicy and the juicy stories of their routine life and even bashing at their back. How entertaining such activities seem to me in the past!

Today, when I stroll down the memory lane, these stupid fantasies and figments of my rather baseless imagination appear to be evident of my naïve mind.

There were times in my childhood when I desperately needed people beside me ( you know like 24*7)! I was a gregarious kid who loved to hang around with pugnacious and highly voluptuous lads and cheeky girls. I had a longing to be amidst the crowd. Imitating others and following the rat race recklessly was so thrilling and chasing people used to be my habit that clung to my personality for a long time. It took me plenty of years to separate and get myself rid of this otherwise attractive habit!

Friendships are an imperative part of our lives, and they occupy more importance as we usher in our teenage. In the years that mark our adolescence, we tend to be conscious about how we look and appear to others. The same tendency clasped me. I turned indifferent towards my comfort and my likes and served to the needs of others. I tried changing every bit of my personality in order to fit into their highly advanced and charming world.

Peer pressure is one whole of a big mountain that is insurmountable and when it turns out to be negative, the one that intends to harm your spirit, it becomes disastrous.

Love is an emotion- surreal and comely. It binds you to the magic. It has nothing to do with your age. It just happens when the time is ripe for your subconscious to accept it as a part of your life. The Teenage Love is innocent, with no ulterior motives, harm, and demands. A love story is a fairytale that encompasses purity. But an unrequited love causes you the damage which is beyond repair. It is tough to convince your mind that every time the wishes do not come true. My heart was frail because it was rapacious… of Love. At times, the thirst we have is not satisfied and in the unstoppable course of time, I have learned it.

It is not that my childhood love inflicted me with an everlasting pain, it is absolutely not the case where I mumble in the agony of being deprived of affection; rather the predilection for that ‘someone’ transcended my soul and revamped it to summon strength to stand upright and walk with ease – even when I am alone!

I no more look upon to people for them to validate my opinions, I no longer seek their precious company for me to try my hand at something new. The experiences have taught me to carry the burden of my own desires on my shoulders rather than expecting others to lend a helping hand. I have MOVED ON!

I firmly stress on the fact that there is nothing better than living your passion.

People might target you with their critical remarks and venomous words coated with delectable sugar but your conscience must be brave enough to sail any insidious storm. The world will never come to you asking about your grief; it will only pester you once you will be a failure.

It has been a hard-line task for me to figure out my passion and how can I emerge out of my woes and despondence.

Time Heals Everything

Today when I look back, my constant demeanor seems to be frivolous and monotonous. The nagging memories of my forlorn past, literally, frighten me ( :p).

But as I write this piece today, I am proud to say that

I Am A Warrior.

 I have sailed through all storms heroically and carved a niche for myself on my own. I look at my transformation with respect and yes- I am strong, I am crazy, I am confident, I am stubborn. I am frisky- all because I have the zest to excel and achieve a breakthrough in this world that runs behind conventions and norms!

I want to be the master of my destiny, be a traveler of the Road Not Taken, explore infinite horizons and prove that nothing could ever deter me from marching Forward…!



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