First a bitter story...
Long back, when I was a consultant in Moolchand Medicity, two boys; one in twenties and the other in teens, entered my OPD. It was their third or fourth visit for getting some treatment for their non-specific abdominal complaints. In routine, I asked them how they were feeling. They said—fine. And they stopped like thinking to say something but hesitating. Getting them confused, as they have become a bit friendly to me during this period of their visits, I asked them to say whatever they want to without hesitation, but fast as other patients were waiting for their turn.
“Sir, do you have something to increase the sexual power?” the younger one mumbled shyly.
In the first place, I was surprised on the query which was embarrassing enough not only for them but for me too to reply—to my too young patients seeking treatment for sexual disorder. To get a clear idea, as I was not expecting them to have medicine to increase their libido at this age, I asked, “Yes, we have. For whom?”
This time the elder one stuttered, “For ourselves—sir.”
“Yourself?” I exclaimed.
“Yes sir,” they nodded.
“Are you, I mean, both of you married?” I asked them in amazement. I also knew that they were real brothers.
“No,” they nodded in negation.
“Then, must be having girlfriends?” I quipped and laughed towards them—supposing them a bit misguided and confused by their peers boasting their unstoppable, enormous sexual prowess—a normal phenomenon among friends making them subdued with inferiority complex.
“No sir,” they replied having an stilted smile showing their embarrassment.
Perhaps they were expecting me write a prescription for them, in routine, without going into deep details.
“Then, how do you know that you’re sexually weak? In fact, where do you test if you don’t have girlfriends?” I tried to know the reason simply as I did never expect a person at this age coming for sexual weakness.
And the answer they offered shocked and shook me to the core.
“Aunties,” one of them replied.
Their demeanor was telling that they were serious and not joking in any manner. However, I couldn’t trust on my ears hearing that word—aunties!
For a while I was dumbstruck. I looked at them in utter disbelief and astonishment and tried to get an elaborated account what did they mean.
“Aunties? What do you mean?” I wondered and frowned at them.
“Sir, our immediate neighbors and a few of our mom’s friends,” the elder one told. Till that time their shyness had vanished and they had become quite frank—brazen to say precisely.
“How?” flabbergasted, I asked again.
“Aunties, who remain lonely when their husbands are away on official tours for weeks and their children are in school, they call us, serve us the best of wines and show us the porn movies on TV. This is great fun. But they’re too demanding. That’s why we’ve come to you,” the younger one described their hunky-dory with their femme fatale aunties.
Being an astute observer by nature, I tried to know more and out of curiosity asked them, “Do your mom not know all or something about it?”
“No sir! Not the least. When they come to our home to have a chat with mom, we even don’t see eye-to-eye,” and they tittered.
Stunned, I closed my eyes. Perhaps that was my first encounter with the harsh and ugly reality of our society—where our neighbors, relatives, family friends, known-to-uncles and aunties and cousins are exploiting our kids and playing extremely dirty and shameful games behind the veils—behind the veils of our good-relations with them.
How dangerous they can be, I thought.
The above incident, which is not one off, coincides with the statistics of rape and sodomy cases in our society putting the onus on only ones—the known ones in more than 80% cases. (Please refer the latest news items’ headlinesattached as a photograph.) Even a few celebrities (name withheld), both male and female, have accepted that they were molested, raped and sodomized by their close-relatives and family-friends during their childhood.
Now the moot question is—can we prevent it?
YES, to some extent—provided we take a few cautious measures.
Be possessive about your wards till they cross their education at least at school level.
Never trust anyone, whosoever maybe; a servant, a maid, a family friend, a relative, a tenant, a landlord, a neighbor and other fringe elements visiting your house time-to-time like presswala, sabziwala, plumber, electrician etc.etc.
Learn to distrust anyone coming in contact your kids; a teacher, a tutor, their playmates and school friends including all the above as mentioned at no.2
Keep a close watch and strict vigil on the behavior of the above mentioned people. Beware! You maybe dodged by their extremely cordial, sweet and friendly attitude towards all your family members.
Don’t allow your kids to play with others in separate rooms or in lonely parks. NEVER.
Gone are the days when we would visit our relatives on maternal and paternal sides during winter and summer vacations. Yet, if you’re obliged to visit for some unavoidable reasons, don’t allow your little ones to sleep with any of your relatives or their kids—howsoever nice they maybe.
It’s easy to proclaim that the girls should have all kinds of liberties and be allowed to roam anytime anywhere. Yes, I’m also the big proponent of all kinds of freedom to the girls—but not at the cost of their security and dignity.
Dear guys and gals, you’ve to save yourselves—by not strolling at odd hours, by not attending late-night parties, clubs, discos and pubs, by not mingling not only with strangers but with known ones at odd hours and at lonely places. If you do it, it’s your risk and no government may save you if you fall prey to some predator.
If we think deep into our hearts—is all this possible? Dear friends, where boys are not safe in our society, can we expect a foolproof security and guarantee of the safety of our girls? And who’ll provide? The answer is obvious—NO.
Never leave your innocent kids in the custody of a neighbor, a relative or whosoever maybe for whatsoever reason.
Remember—even Sita was not spared and got kidnapped on being left alone by godly Ram and mighty Laxman. We’re nothing but petty human beings.
Dear friends, in any given society, crimes cannot be stopped absolutely. However, we can reduce them—by preventing them. And the above measures may seem to be impractical to invoke but I’m sure that our cautious attitude towards little things in our routine life may save our kids from the menace of rape, molestation and sodomy.
We cannot teach or preachmorality and idealism or pray and beg the people not to rape and molest our children. Nobody is ready to listen. These are the hard hitting facts of our life—you may disagree but cannot deny them.
CHANCES TO BE HARMED BY UNKONWN ARE SELDOM WHEREAS THE KNOWN MAY ATTACK LIKE A GORILLA ANYTIME—KEEPING AN EVIL EYE ON OUR KIDS 24X7, STEALTHILY.
SO BEWARE OF THE KNOWN FIRST!
AS—PREVENTION IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN CURE.
Thanks for kind reading
Dr Rajeev Pundir, MD (Ayu.)
An Ayurvedic specialist, a Novelist, and a Columnist.